Valentines’ day is one of the hardest days for widows’ orphans and widowers this is because it reminds them that they no longer have a supporter to walk with them throughout their life. CTWOO after realizing such a huge gap in society came up with an annual valentine’s day and set out objectives to be achieved during the day. On 11th February 2022, CTWOO held the 5^th Pre-valentine’s dinner at Pavilion Ballroom Safari Park Hotel with its main objective being to ensure the 52 orphans we sponsor in our education program get quality education hence achievement of sustainable development goal no. 4. The event attracted a total number of 120 (one hundred and twenty) guests.

Pre-Valentines meet and greet dinner event aims were;

1. To bring widows, widowers and orphans together to share their experiences, celebrate love and have a dinner together.
2. To celebrate the achievements that CTWOO has had since last dinner, on 13^th February 2021.
3. To recognize and celebrate CTWOO’ s Partners and their contributions towards the achievements of CTWOO projects.
4.  To mobilize funds for ensuring quality education for the 53 students sponsored by CTWOO.

The dinner also contributed towards the achievement of SDG no.5 Gender Equality since it brought on board widows, widowers, and orphans.

The event was made a success through the contribution of the following main sponsors;

1. Ministry of Public Service, Gender, Senior Citizens affairs and Special Programs.
2. Federation of Women Lawyers Kenya (FIDA-KENYA)
3. Anti -FGM Board
4. Centre for Rights Education and Awareness (CREAW)
5. Certified Homes Limited
6. Bountiful Safaris
7. Gredico Properties Limited
8. Office of Women Representative (NAIROBI COUNTY)

The dinner started at 6.00P.M where the master of ceremony, MC SHORT welcomed all the guests and invited madam Nereah to say a word of prayer and the event began. MC Short also went ahead and invited STCM band who led the guests with the National Anthem and East Africa Anthem.  The following were key activities undertaken during the event;

1. Entertainment.
2. Speeches.
3. Awareness on law of succession Act.

Entertainment

The guests were entertained all through the event by STCM band. Hope Wambui delivered an educative poem about widows with the theme “widows are superwomen “.

Awareness On Law Of Succession Act

A short clip was played to the guests which were about creating awareness about the law of succession where Ms. Lindah highlighted some cases which CTWOO have come across and how they have handled them.  She went further to share with the guest how the organization handles the cases more so through referrals for assistance.

Ms. Lindah concluded by acknowledging and thanking all the partners who work together with CTWOO for the good of the society. Such partners included: CREAW and FIDA Kenya

SPEECHES

1. Ms. Alice Moraa

Ms. Moraa a widow narrated her story where she got married at a tender age and was blessed with three children, two boys, and one girl. She lost her husband at the age of 22years and has lived as a widow for 22 years.  Once she lost her husband feeding her three children was a huge problem since she was disinherited and sent away from her home immediately after the burial. Ms. Alice returned back to Nairobi where she suffered for a long time until she met madam Dianah Kamande who helped her to join CTWOO. Through the help of CTWOO Ms. Alice got hairdressing skills and opened her own salon which has improved her economic status. She has also joined the Commander widows’ group where they assist each other to grow socially and economically.

2. Ms. Amina Ibrahim

Ms. Amina, a member of Vision Sisters Mathare 4A widows’ group from Korogocho stated that being a widow scares a lot to an extent that people tend to avoid a widow.  She lost her husband in the year 2004 and left a three-day-old child and other three children. She explained that she was accused of bewitching her husband and that she went further to kill her husband. Due to the loss of her husband, Ms. Amina was unable to provide for her children since she had no money to acquire basic needs for them until they became street children. One of her children lost life and the other lost sight in high school and has been through such condition till today. She also narrated that the children do not know their matrimonial home. Later on, she met madam Dianah Kamande who introduced her to the Vision Sisters Mathare self-help group which empowers widows on social and economic status. She concluded that madam Dianah has linked them with the government more so the office of Women Representative under National Government Affirmative Action Funds (NGAAF) which has provided women empowerment grants to boost their activities.  

3. Ms. Rebecca Nungari

Ms. Rebecca began by explaining that her husband died by accident and she left her with a 9-month-old child. She was sent away by her brother-in-law which forced her to go back to Nairobi. She told the audience how life was so hard especially accessing food hence depending on her parents.  She explained that she was disinherited everything including her late husband’s motorbike which she could have used as a means to generate income. Since then, she has tried to reclaim what rightfully belongs to her with no vail but Madam Dianah Kamande promised her that she won’t leave Nairobi till she’s assisted by FIDA-Kenya.

4. Madam Elizabeth Gichohi- FIDA KENYA

FIDA -Kenya was represented by madam Elizabeth Gichohi who after introducing herself, she recognized CTWOO, Dr.  Linah Jebii Kilimo from the ministry of gender affairs and, Anti-FGM- Board CEO, madam Bernadette for the good work they are doing in society. She went further to acknowledge that widows have rights found in chapter 4 of the Kenyan constitution 2010 yet they are treated as second-class citizens. She narrated that nobody chose to be a widow, widower, and orphan. She added that society is so unkind and unforgiving, especially to the widows. Madam Gichohi explained that they are sisters in the jungle with CTWOO and she asked the audience who will stand up for the current generation as prof. Wangari Mathai did. She concluded by highlighting what FIDA-Kenya does such as conducting advocacy and fighting against Gender-Based Violence.    

5. Madam Nereah- CREAW KENYA

CREAW Kenya was represented by madam Nereah, a psychologist who thanked CTWOO for the invitation for a second time. She thanked madam Dianah Kamande for the work she’s doing in society. Madam Nereah added that CTWOO brings on board issues that are critical and are in a crisis situation. She went further to explain that trauma is real among widows and it’s nobody’s fault to lose their spouse. She urged the present mothers- in-laws to be fair to their daughters -in-laws and treat them with dignity. She also pointed out that CREAW-Kenya doesn’t only offer to talk therapy but also offers safe spaces even if it is temporary. she emphasized the services which CREAW Kenya offers including counseling services, economic empowerment, and safe spaces for those in need. She concluded by stating that psychological abuse is more hurting and needs immediate attention in which she promised to offer free group therapy and personal therapy to all widows, widowers, and orphans.

6. Mr. Titus Wairate

Mr. Titus spoke on behalf of the widowers. He began by greeting the congregation and acknowledging Madam Dianah Kamande and said that he was honored to be a widower. He continued by narrating that he got married in the year 2001 and later lost his wife in the year 2007 leaving behind two kids, one in pre-unit and the other one in baby class. He said that God should always be praised for he has been guiding him all through to raise his kids who are now grown-ups. Mr. Titus stated that he decided not to remarry and he has been receiving awards such as the father of the year award in 2018 and also, he once received an award of mother of the year in 2020 since he has been playing both roles of a father and mother. He added that he has been prayerful, a mentor, and a friend to his kids. He concluded that he developed widows and widowers’ passion and it is through this in partnership with the office of women representative of Murang’a county they have organized a valentine’s day for widows and widowers to be held on 14^th February 2022 in Murang’a county.

7. Madam Dianah Kamande, HSC-FOUNDER/CEO OF CTWOO

Madam Dianah Kamande, the founder of CTWOO was welcomed with a song and she began her speech by acknowledging God who has been faithful to her through since she founded CTWOO. Madam Dianah gave a brief history of how the valentine dinner has been for the past five years where she explained that in 2018 the event had 18 guests, in 2019 there were only 14 guests in attendance but in 2020 and 2021 the event had over 150 guests attending. She went ahead to thank professor Margaret Kobia for walking with CTWOO all through and said that at the previous Valentine’s dinner, Professor promised to deliver a special loan for widows where last year July she delivered a Thamini loan for widows.

Madam Dianah Kamande, HSC then recognized the presence of Dr. Linah Jebii Kilimo, hon. Esther Passaris and Mr. Kennedy Odede, founder -of SHOFCO have been helping CTWOO to achieve its objectives. She went ahead to thank her friends from the military, her bishop who prayed for CTWOO when it was starting, UN Women Director Ms. Anna Mutavati, and Wanjiku Gitonga from Inooro FM.

Madam Dianah Kamande, HSC also recognized all the sponsors in the following order;

1. Certified homes limited
2. Bountiful Safaris
3. Gredico Properties
4. FIDA-Kenya
5. Anti FGM board
6. CREAW Kenya

She also thanked the master of ceremony, mc short, Ms. Linda Nyawira, sign language interpreter, and CTWOO team.

She concluded by noting the words of the former UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon that no woman should lose her status, livelihood, or property when her husband dies.

8. Madam Bernadette Loloju- ANTI-FGM BOARD CEO

Madam Bernadette Loloju Anti-FGM Board CEO was introduced by Madam Dianah Kamande, HSC where she thanked her for the good work she has been doing in society and appreciated FIDA Kenya and CREAW for playing a huge role in eliminating gender-based violence. She introduced two widows who had lost their husbands during COVID 19 pandemic and concluded by encouraging widows to continue smiling and be happy since it relieves stress.

9. Hon. Esther Passaris- Women Representative, NAIROBI COUNTY

Hon. Esther Passaris began by acknowledging that her mother is now a widow after her father succumbed to COVID 19. She went further and

thanked Madam Dianah Kamande, HSC for the good work they are doing. Hon Passaris mentioned the good work they are intending to do in Nairobi County where she said that they will support 10 groups with 100,000 each, have value addition which will help improve businesses, the introduction of safe space for women and have women empowerment through providing NGAAF grants. She also promised to work on the Widows Bill and ensure that it becomes an act. She congratulated everyone present for standing up and embracing togetherness by quoting that together we can make our country a better place.

10. Dr. Linah Jebii Kilimo- Chief Guest

Dr. Linah Jebii Kilimo began by thanking Almighty God and appreciated everyone for their presence. She apologized on behalf of CS Professor Margaret Kobia for her absence and thanked Madam Dianah Kamande, HSC for the good work they are doing together. She pointed out that its citizens’ responsibility is to ensure that the policies are implemented. She went further to thank madam Dianah Kamande, HSC for drawing the attention of widows to the government and promised that the Thamini Loan will be implemented in all 47 counties.

Dr. Linah Jebii Kilimo noted that it is good to be in groups since once the groups have clear objectives they can grow further and become SACCOs more so when they are rooted in savings. She pointed out on Generation Equality Forum against gender-based violence where she emphasized more on Anti-FGM and noted that the president is also against it.

Dr. Linah Jebii Kilimo said that widows should not feel lonely since the government has a role which it plays such as offering free counseling services where she gave a toll-free number( 1195) and talked of policare which is a program under the police department to handle cases with a high level of dignity. Dr. Linah Jebii Kilimo concluded by handing a book gift to Madam Dianah Kamande, HSC.

CONCLUSION.

Valentine’s Day is all about being with the one you love; it is through this that the pre valentine’s dinner organized by CTWOO brought together widows and widowers to feel love. By attracting a huge number of guests, the event was successful. All the set objectives were achieved since funds were mobilized to sponsor the 53 students, the sponsors and partners were also recognized for their role towards CTWOO projects and all the guests enjoyed and celebrated dinner together.  

As widows were sharing their experiences, they brought into attention some key challenges they have faced and are facing such as disinheritance, forced evictions, discrimination, accusations of bewitching their late husbands, and in-laws’ maltreatment. Lastly, the event was graced with a word of prayer by one of the widows.